Warning: post of self hate.

I might have mentioned this to you before: I AM FAT.

And by fat I mean overweight. I look like a baloon about to burst, an overstuffed sausage of some kind, like a gigantic ball of diabetes(which I do not have, yet..) and it is all my own fault. Why is it so? Let me tell you, I am lazy, I’m the most lazy person you’ve ever met. Well, I can’t guarantee that, but I’m pretty sure I’ll be somewhere in your top five. I’m too lazy to do my homework, I’m too lazy to work out, I’m to lazy to unload the dishwasher and I’m to lazy to look for the healthy food.

Let us look at what I’ve done so far today(I am sick, but this is pretty much what I do on any day I’m not at school antway): I woke up around twelve thirty, can you say waste of daylight? I watched some TV, ate some candy(ice cream and chocolate), read a little, slept a little more, ate half a pizza and went back to my room where I now sit in my bed writing this stupid blog post. I won’t do anything else today. Nothing more. I’ll just stay in bed or in front of the TV. Any wonder I’m fat?

I hate myself. I suffer from ignorance and stupidity. I am lazy. I eat unhealthy food. I never workout. I know all this, yet I lack the self discipline to do something about it, I lack the motivation and the guts to really
drag my ass out of bed and do something about it.

Guess what, I will do something about it! I will start working out, I will keep doing my homework and I will clean my room once a week. Three reasonable goals right? I’ll probably manage to keep up the work for a week, maybe two before I throw the towel in, but I don’t want to. I want to be strong, I want to get better grades, I want to be think, smart, funny. I want to get new friends, I want to fall in love, I might even want a boyfriend. I want a life.

Sick girl

http://www.sxc.hu/

This is my third day of not being at school, I’m sick. Yay. I do not have a cold so I’m guessing it is a virus and they tend to be hard to get rid of, at least that is how it usually works. Last time I had a virus I was sick for about a month(spent the entire winter vacation in bed! That seriously sucked). I’m going to school tomorrow though.

So what does a girl do when she is home alone, to feverish to get out of bed, afraid to fall asleep because the dreams are way to real for her own good(The general topic of my fever fantasy dreams happens to be death, vampires and falling through stairs)? I’ll tell you she reads “chick-lit”, nauseating sweet and romantic stories that usually results in me feeling, well, nauseous. Right now I’m reading something of Marian Keyes, and I find it ridiculous, though I must admit in it’s original language it might be funny, but not so much in the translated to Norwegian version.

I’m also spending a lot of my time here on the internet, reading blogs, watching TV shows and things like that. Lurking on my friends(oh how much nifty information I get from that!).

Then last but not least I’m looking for gift ideas, I have two friends who is turning eighteen soon, and they need presents. Nice presents. It is horribly difficult to find something, I have no ideas what so ever. They don’t know what they want either. I bet I’ll en up giving them money, and nothing is more boring than that.

to-do list of the day

Here is what I’m supposed to do today, preferably right now(instead I’m printing out pictures to stick on my school journal thingy):

1. English homework
2. Economy homework
3. History homework
4. Clean my room(throw stuff out and vacuum)
5. go for a short run/ride the stationary bike(oh look, I get to choose)
6. take a shower

Now does anyone think I’ll be able to do all that today?

Procrastinating

I have a long list of things to do today, but I can’t seem to get started. I’m spending time on my favorite websites for procrastination(or in the words of my mother: Wasting time) and I’m writing lists and doing all sorts of things so that I won’t have to start doing  the stuff I really should do. On the positive side I’ll be writing several posts here today, among those there will be the sticky note, my to-do list and a list over my favorite procrastination websites. Starting with the latter.

My favorite websites to browse when I’m supposed to do other things:

http://www.postsecret.blogspot.com/

http://www.foundmagazine.com/

http://todolistblog.blogspot.com/

I’ve now spent more than an hour browsing through those sites and other similar ones(though they failed to keep me interested for long).

This is a blogpost.

Today I’m feeling pretty good about myself, I drove a car for my very first time. It was all very exiting. I took the obligatory theory class two year ago, but I never got into a car and drove. Now I have. I can’t tell you how good this is for me. Last time I tried I panicked and left the car after only starting it. This time I actually drove around.

the sticky note is coming tomorrow, I think. I’ve also started a monthly clean out of my bag, now that school has started I’m bound to generate a lot of trash, and fill it with things I don’t really need all the time. I plan on documenting that too and post it. Again just so that I can feel a little productive when I’m not in the mood for writing.

What else is new? I’ve got homework to do over the weekend and will spend tomorrow doing them, plus making a new cover for my to do book. Boring much?

Out of order.

I am currently out of order, I need to be fixed. I’m not sure who to call about that though. I’m freaking out, feeling bad and watching a lot of Buffy, Bones, Gilmore Girls, and Blood Ties. My nose and ears are itching and I’m overall in a bad weird mood. If I didn’t know any better I’d call it a woman thing, but I’m thinking it’s a psychological thing, oh joy.

School starts tomorrow, so my dear reader(s) I might not do the sticky note tomorrow. I might be busy being angry and sad at the same time, and if that is the case I’ll be crying and cursing and throwing things around. I can feel the fright creeping in, so wish me luck with my senior year.

Time for the sticky note!

Today I have no picture of the sticky note, my camera is in hiding.

This weeks note is another shopping list, but of the more creative sort, and it goes like this:

• Felt
• white fabric
• stuffing(stuff to stuff inside little felt thingies)
• clear nail polish
• needle
• buttons
• Broche backsides.
• Glue of the super kind.

Feeling creative? M? No way xD

I wish I could find iron on letters though, I can’t find them anywhere. What is up with that?

I need something to do!

I am officially bored to boredom. Usually I can fight off the boredom by just lying down in my bed making up stories, but not today. Today it doesn’t suffice. Oh well, we all have those days right? I’ve been searching the net for a job, but I can’t find anything that seems like something I’d enjoy. The only job that seemed suitable for me I’m to late to apply for. Do you want to hear me scream?

To get your first job, at eighteen, is difficualt. Specially when your parents can’t hook you up with one. My mother works with disabled people, and I’m clearly not qualified to do that, and they’ve already got cleaners. My dad builds houses, and even though I know how to use a screw driver, it isn’t very attractive, plus I’m at school during most of his work hours.

Where does that leave me? Alone and miserable. I’m fat so nobody wants to hire me, not that I have the guts to ask them in the first place. Does anyone think that someone would hire me if I wore a sign saying “I need an after school job” around my neck? No? I didn’t think so either.

I know of one place and one place only where I could get a job, but they are not hiring. Bully for me.

Reading spot

I’m a reader, as in I like to read books. I usually read easy read books that I can enjoy. I’m not into the whole heavy literature for the sake of appearing smart thing, though maybe I should be. I was asked a question, not about what I read, but where I read, and I didn’t really know what to answer. It has more to do with when than where I thought.

I often read in the evening, before I go to sleep or after doing my homework, and the reading then always happens in my bed. Either I’m curled up in a corner with all my pillows piled up around me and blankets wrapped around me, or I’m lying there with the book waiting to grow tired. I like readingin my bed, it is comfortable.

I also read a great deal on the bus. If I want to go to the city I’ll have to sit on a bus for an hour more or less, and as I don’t get car sick I often read. Other places I read is at school during free periods. If Everyone else is busy with something and I’m out of homework(or pretend that I am) I’ll read there. I read when I have opportunity, the place doesn’t really matter that much.

Still, I do love curling up in the corner of my bed, simply because I feel safe and warm and comfy. Reading in public often makes me feel very aware of what I’m reading, and what others might think of it.

Where do you like to read?

I want to go to sleep again.

Good day everyone. I’m really tired today, as usual.

I’ve changed the blog design again, because I like this better. I know, I just pick one of the layouts to choose between here at wordpress, but I am a complete idiot when it comes to creating one of my own. Trust me, I always fail.

I have to get dressed so that I can get the paper, the post and the rubbish bin. Wohoo!

I’ve been watching a lot of movies recently and I saw two yesterday. One of them the Truth About Jane a made for TV movie surprised me. I really enjoyed it and it was much better than I expected it to be. the main character in this movie is Jane(like you hadn’t guessed already) who finds out that she is a lesbian and the issues the movie deals with is her coming out and her heart being broken. Jane’s mother who has a best friend who is gay and consider herself quite liberal can’t deal with the fact that her daughter is a lesbian. I’ll let you guess the rest. I didn’t really love the script, but I think the acting was good and that the movie had some depth. Then again it might just be the fact that Ellen Muth played Jane and I think she’s cool.